How Many Virgins Does It Take to Carry a Propane Tank?


Andreas has reminded me of my challenge on the parables episode for folks to give us your most innovative/bizarre interpretations of The Ten Virgins parable. Here it is copied from Wikipedia: Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten virgins, who took their lamps, and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. Those who were foolish, … [Read more...]

PEL To Become Full-On Born-Again Christian Podcast From Here On Out

Much like rockers Brent Bourgeois, Neal Morse, and Dan Peek, doing this PEL thing, with all the sex and drugs that has come with it, has over the last year brought me to rock bottom, as I found myself reading Ayn Rand and Jacques Lacan by choice, and after spending a night rolling in my own puke, I saw a light, and the light spoke to me, saying: Too long has secular philosophy … [Read more...]

A Personal Philosophy for Kevin the Nice Canadian

This here Personal Philosophy was commissioned by a Mr. John Williamson for his brother Kevin on the occasion of his birthday. You too can order one for yourself, a friend, a loved one, enemy, celebrity, co-worker, someone you want to do, and/or your pet. Why would you delay in doing this? I can imagine no reason. A Personal Philosophy for Kevin the Nice Canadian* I know … [Read more...]

A Personal Philosophy for Lucy Lawless

Longtime readers may recall a flurry of so-called Personal Philosophies let loose from this site 'round the end of old '10. While every one of these was cherished and beloved and wrapped in a special extra-thick paper and put in the bottom of an ornate chest and filed under "H" for "heirloom," that does not mean that everyone liked the idea of a web site attributing something … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Geoffrey Edwards

Goeff is a discourser on this here blog from way back, and has now contributed a great heap of cash, and has taken me up on my offer for a Personal Philosophy. You, too, can request such a thing, you who have already contributed within the past couple of months or who do so right now. Forget to buy that special someone a gift? Give the gift that says "You deserve something, … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Chris Hardwick in Early 2010

Ah, success. Fame. Money. A little of it whets our appetite for more, twists our priorities, and like your clothes in a public dryer that you have to sit there and watch lest they get stolen, it's a source of stress. When we started this podcast, it was just a leisure time activity, something primarily for us, the podcasters, but even as the first episode was being prepared, … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) the Reluctant Carnivore

It's the holiday season again, and time for you to give the gift of a custom-made Personal Philosophy!. Per last year's rules, if you donate $20 or more to P.E.L. starting today (OK, recent big donors can e-mail me and request this w/o an additional donation), you are entitled to a Personal Philosophy written to/about a loved one, hated one, yourself, or a celebrity. Give … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) the Dude Who Posts Incoherent yet Hateful Comments on Obama’s Facebook Posts

I guess I've gotten bored of most of the various 99 cent offerings on my iPhone, because my main waiting-in-line activity there of late has been opening the Obama postings in my Facebook app news stream and reading the crazy ass comments people see fit to address ostensibly directly to the leader of the free world (though of course no one thinks that O. actually reads them or … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) the Anonymous Internet Shopper

We've had some nice "indirect donations" of late, meaning people who do their Amazon shopping using one of our banner ads (like the ones on the lower right of our home page here or at the top of our links page) to enter the Amazon site, which gives us a cut regardless of what you end up purchasing. So, I wanted to thank such folks with a collective Personal Philosophy. The … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) That Depressed Guy

This is for that guy... the one who's depressed. Maybe it's you. The Personal Philosophy of That Depressed Guy* I don't know. Maybe none of this is worth it. Maybe I should just... no, that isn't worth it either. It's just that I'm... well... you know. It's like the world is a metaphor and I'm the bacon. Or something. When the chemicals in your brain say "no," it's … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) a Budding “New Atheist”

We've received a nice donation from Russ Baker, who is a Christian who claims not to be offended by our podcasts. I asked him if he wanted to "target" a Personal Philosophy at someone, and he replied that while he was not interested in targeting anyone, he does want us to hurry up and do an episode on the "new atheists" as we've long been threatening to do. [The eventual … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for)’s Robert Wright

More donations = More custom-crafted Personal Philosophies. Our sponsorship this time is by someone who wants to remain anonymous (but whom I can tell you has actually appeared as a guest on the podcast). He recommended three targets for such a Personal Philosophy, one of whom was Robert Wright, who "plays himself on" I have not researched this fellow, as … [Read more...]

Personal Philosophies Wrap-Up (for the Moment)

As promised, here are the noted Personal Philosophies of (i.e. for) Seth and Wes respectively. During the period of this fund-raiser thingy, we got maybe a half-dozen nice donations, including those you've seen written about in this series plus another couple. I've not totaled up the cash intake, but given our modest expenses, it will cover I believe more than half of 2011's … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Kyle Walton’s Mom

We received another donation, this time from noted personage Kyle Walton, so that means it's time for another custom crafted Personal Philosophy! Kyle would like to dedicate this to his mother Sylvia, who has of late gotten interested in Kierkegaard. Kyle's Mom's Personal Philosophy* Many mothers would be upset that their son is... well... different. I mean... well... a … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Danny C.

This feature will henceforth occur no more often than weekly, if that, unless this new policy suffers recursion problems, in that the policy itself as as adjunct entity to this type of post is by leakage subjected to that same policy and and so is only enforceable on a weekly basis, in which case additional posts of this sort might sneak through while the enforcement was not in … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) a Guy Who Doesn’t Like Personal Philosophies

Note: This post has been edited at the request of the guy who complained about all these Personal Philosophy posts, because the point of my doing these is to entertain and amuse, not to offend or embarrass. Guy Who Doesn't Like Personal Philosophies' Personal Philosophy* I know nearly every guy philosophizes, whether they'll admit it or not, but I am REALLY into … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Dr. Iain Morrisson, Ph.D., a Professor and Professional Philosopher

Let me be super clear about this one: This is a donation to Iain, purely because he was a guy that was in the Ph.D. program with Seth, Wes, and myself who did go on to get a job (at U. of Houston) and because I thought he'd have a sense of humor about such things. As an actual, employed, professional philosopher, he is perhaps less in need than one of these Personal … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Wasted Words’ RJ White

My favorite non-philosophy podcast that I've not kept up lately with is Wasted Words, which is just funny people talking about a variety of topics, which occasionally veer into philosophy, but usually not. This was one of the couple of podcasts that served as a proof of concept to me that I could do something like this even though none of the other participants lived in the … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Bradley Eugene Herbler

High praises on this day to listener Bradley E. Herbler who contributed the big $50 to earn himself an extra special Personal Philosophy. Note that he supplied, and required that I use, this picture. Brad E. Herbler's Personal Philosophy* Socrates may have said that the unexamined life is not worth living, but I can say from experience that the unexamined life is fucking … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Michael Williams (Steve’s Brother)

A Mr. Steve Williams from Melbourne has commissioned a Personal Philosophy for his brother Michael, presumably in lieu of an actual Christmas gift, so I am rushing this one out to him instead of spending Christmas Eve time with my family. You're welcome! Michael Williams's Personal Philosophy* My philosophy is derived mostly from my cat, I think. Cats have a special … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Actor/Podcaster Matt Yang King

A Personal Philosophy has been donated to Matt, who has appeared in many TV shows and movies and video games. He also broadcasts via the entertaining GeeksOn podcast I've blogged about, but is perhaps best known for being the first dude killed in Species III. Matt Yang King's Personal Philosophy* I believe there is a force within each of us that can enable us to do … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) The Atlantic’s Jared Keller

Atlantic associate editor Jared Keller attracted our oracular, magnetic Personal Philosophy pen by asking someone who tweeted about this series for more information. Does this mean he'll write a Pulitzer-winning article about us as the inevitable end point of the juxtaposition of high culture and the Internet? Only he knows for sure! (Well, Santa too.) Jared Keller's Personal … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) The Onion’s Jason Roeder

More personal philosophies (you can have one too!). This one MAY have been sponsored by an anonymous donor, or it may have been selected by me to acknowledge my debt to The Onion in conceiving some of these now plentiful personal philosophies. So, in keeping with the desire to select not the top brass at some organization but a tireless mid-level functionary, Onion "Staff … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Kathleen M. Ryan

Perhaps best known (by me) for being the person on Facebook who complained about all these Personal Philosophy postings (see inset), Ms. Ryan is also known for her excellent sense of humor and her facility with plastic explosives. This personal philosophy has been commissioned for her by an elderly billionaire who is too shy to introduce himself. Also, it should be noted, … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Lee Abramson

A while ago, I reviewed my ex-bassist Lee's project Rumi Music, which is just one of several albums he's finished since being knocked out of the bass-playing (and walking and talking) business by ALS. His latest shtick is a 2012 Presidential run, so as a speech-writer audition I thought I should create a personal philosophy for him, based on an idea he sent to me, which was … [Read more...]

Philosophy of the Future Book of Matt Gantner

Mr. Matt Gantner of Gantner Creative Media (a company with no web site Google has heard of) has donated more money to P.E.L. than anyone not actually on the show, despite our not knowing him personally or having provided him any quid pro quo philosophical favors like putting in a good word for him with Arthur C. Danto and/or the Absolute. With his latest donation, he asked … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Mike “Mr. Murph” Murphy

Today's Personal Philosophy is sponsored by Melissa Murphy and created expressly for her handle-bar mustachioed high-school-physics-teaching husband. Michael K. Murphy's Personal Philosophy* I believe that we need to act now to preserve our fragile ecosystem. I also believe that robots are our future. Giant robots with rockem' sockem' type arms and lasers that shoot out of … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Audiobook Narrator Scott Brick

Continuing to shift my purview, I have constructed a personal philosophy (much like the one YOU want, but not as good) for the fine audiobook narrator Scott Brick. Having only heard him read me Dune and some other books, I have no idea what his actual personality is like, but anyone who can pronounce all those freaky Fremen names must undoubtedly deserve a philosophy as grand … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for)’s Laura Miller

So far none of the select celebrities whom I have gifted an ultra-personal Personal Philosophy have sent me so much as a dry-cleaning coupon, which I guess means that they're not Internet-obsessed, self-Google-alerting, must-personally-respond-to-everything-associated-with-their-names kind of people, unlike, say, me. But what about journalists? Will Laura Miller, writer … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Frank Conniff

I hope it's obvious from my inclusion of this MST3K alum, given my past comments on MST3K, that I am not slamming these needy celebrities by creating for them spiffy brand new personal philosophies (give one today to someone who's name you've drawn for secret Santa!). I am not implying that such celebrities do not currently have a philosophy or that their philosophy is … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Callum Keith Rennie

Donating another philosophy to a needy minor celebrity, this time the guy who played the most sensitive cylon and other roles. For y'all just tuning in, read this to learn how to order your own special personal magical cool-ass philosophy. I have to credit my dad, noted children's performer Mr. Bob, for giving me the idea for this one. Callum Keith Rennie's Personal … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Martin Starr

We have received an actual donation now with a commission to create a personal philosophy, but I'm working with the donator and trying to figure out the result, and I don't want Gigi Edgley to feel unfairly singled out if she somehow gets ahold of the link, so I have identified another needy celebrity to receive a holiday personal philosophy, because December is the time for … [Read more...]

The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) Gigi Edgley (Chiana from Farscape)

Since no one has yet forked over their X-mas cash to us in response to my offer to craft your personal philosophy, I'm writing one for a semi-randomly chosen needy celebrity, selected because of her hotness and because she's not quite so famous that she wouldn't potentially have a Google alert out on herself: Gigi Edgly, shown here in freaky Farscape make-up, in which she … [Read more...]

Special Offer: Your Own Personal Philosophy for $20

Are you confused? Directionless? Tired of trying to figure it all out? Does the thought of slogging through the history of philosophy trying to figure out what does and doesn't make sense to you depress and/or intimidate you? Well, now there's an answer. For a mere $20 donation to the Partially Examined Life podcast and blog, I or another P.E.L. staffer or associate will … [Read more...]

Mark’s Inspirational Speech

Responding to a listener request, here's the text of the inspirational speech from the end of episode #14, so you can have it tattooed or mounted or embroidered or perhaps written in frosting on a birthday cake. I have rendered it in BOLD MAGENTA #3 (C031C7) for your pleasure: What you see before you, i.e. me, is, admittedly, very awesomely partially examined, but I was not … [Read more...]